Why 2012 probably won’t happen
Since when apes came out of the trees and stopped throwing shit at each other, man has predicted the end of the world. It’s been done several times – in fact, between the year 30 A.D and 1920, the world has been predicted to end approximately between 45 and 220 times.
“It’s definetely ending this time”
Bear in mind also, that these are just the well known theories – not counting the nuts on the street wearing only a cardboard box to cover their genitals, yelling in your face to repent. In fact, only the other week I was in Manchester and saw a gentleman standing outside a shop, claiming that the world would end on May 21st of this year. This, of course, has since not happened.
In fact, I remember as a child being told that the world may end tomorrow. It didn’t. As well as this, some blokes back in the 1920’s prophesied Jesus returning to planet Earth and taking us with him to the kingdom of Heaven. When this didn’t happen, they said that they weren’t wrong, and that Jesus in fact did come back, but nobody saw him, so he went home. I somehow doubt that if Jesus came back and saw nobody around the immediate area, he’d say “Oh, fuck this nonsense” and go back to Heaven in a mood.
“Fuck it, send the floods again Dad.”
The Mayan calendar is said to end on December 21st, 2012. This could mean a number of things – maybe the world will end. Or perhaps they just ran out of stone to carve into. Maybe the calendar maker couldn’t be bothered any more, taking into consideration the fact that he’ll be long gone by then. Or, most likely, perhaps his wife was nagging him about spending too much time on that “damn calendar” and asking him “what about my needs?!”.
Considering this is (approximately) the 221st prediction as to when the world will end, I’d say it’s a pretty safe bet we’ll be okay. Sure, the world will end one day, but 221st time lucky? Perhaps not.
Also, the Mayan tribe would probably react in an uncivilised manner if a scientist were to try and have a theological debate with them. It would probably involve some kind of giant cooking pot and a hilarious situation with a sidekick who asks “How we gonna get out of this one boss?”.
South Park describes the relationship between the leader and the idiot beautifully with these two morons
Taking into account that there are countless documentaries on how it won’t happen and the primitive beliefs of the Mayans, I’d say it’ll be fine.